Dear Lexi,
If you had told me 4 years ago that I’d be where I am today, I would have laughed. I had never dreamed of being prom-posed to, but I was, and the entire school was cheering and chanting for my answer.
I had never guessed I’d end up dating someone, making a group of friends that actually stuck. I learned so much, especially in the past year. I’ve learned relationships take time, and friendships are even harder. That the reason I lost so many friends before was because the only association I had was in school- Didn’t realize that ‘hanging out , outside school grounds’ was actually important and not just for rebellious teens in movies. Realize it’s good to take a step back at times, for yourself. It’s vital to cut those harmful people out of your life, even if you feel guilty.
I never thought I’d be in a musical— screw that, I barely knew what musicals were (at a school level), much less knew I’d end up being the lead in one. Never thought I’d be getting rounds of applause almost every month from friends, audiences, and family. Never thought I’d compete with such a lovely group of singers at the highschool acapella competition- much less thought I’d solo in the setlist. Never thought I’d be a leader in the dorms and have my ‘dorm babies’ look up to me like ducks following their mother around. Never thought I’d perform with an idol. Never thought I’d host ‘drama prom’ when I swore I came to this school for visual arts (and only took 2 classes therein). Never thought I’d be recognized in the halls. Never thought I’d enjoy volleyball and definitely didn’t expect the multiple concussions. Never expected anything, but… it was so worth it. Don’t change a thing!
Highschool doesn’t have to be lonely or daunting. That being said, you have to share your love, your advice with those you care about.
Sincerely, your future self,
Lexi.
Dear Alex,
Dear Sara,
Dear Danny,
Dear Hannah,
Dear Lexi,
I suck at keeping friends. I thought my middle school batch would stay with me but within months we split. And never picked up since then. It hurt. Feeling like 3 years of making friends went down the drain in a span of 6 months. But I’ve found a group I like here in high school. A group of kiddies to look after and I want to continue to mentor them. I hope I can keep them this time.
Sincerely me,
Lexi
Dear Alessandra,
I think you’re probably tired of hearing me call you a ‘mini me’, but here I am again. I’m not being prideful, I just see so much of me in you. So much of the same worries and fears I had. The same problems like skipping dinner due to anxiety, staying in your room 90% of the time, letting people step over you like a doormat. But at the same time, you’re different. You inspire me. You take the steps to make something of yourself. You go through trials I’ve never faced and still manage to keep your head up. You cry, and you cry so beautifully but I want you to know you can cry in my arms. I’ll hold you and listen, and let my empathetic heart shatter with yours, let you know you’re not alone. Maybe it’s because I see part of you in me that I took interest in looking after you. But just know I’ll always be here.
Let yourself cry,
Lexi
Dear Chanel,
I see you’re coming out of your shell more and more. Let me tell you: you are amazing. You are talented and beautiful and worthy of all the praise. You just need to trust yourself more. You’ll do amazing I promise you, but you have to take the opportunities. Else you’ll never show it.
Much love,
Lexi
Dear Arabalessie,
Hi hun! Thank you so much for coming to the show. It really made my day. I was used to the applause of exiting the backdoor after performances but seeing you there: I changed trajectory so fast. Honestly it felt like a movie where only us existed, even as the gathering students shouted congratulations and praise. Thanks again lovely ,
Yours,
Lexi
Dear Alessandra,
You’ve grown so much. I’m really glad you’ve started standing up for yourself, even if not loud. You’re recognizing patterns that hurt you, recognizing people who hurt you- and even if you need help to remove those, the important thing is that you’re not letting it slip by. Not playing it off in your mind, not gaslighting yourself for the sake of someone else’s happiness. I hope your senior year goes well, I know how hard this one was.
Much love,
Lexi
Dear Alex,
My tenor buddy! How is junior year going for you? I still wear the bracelet from the Christmas celebration everyday. I don’t think I can make the first performance, but I’ll definitely be around next season.
#tenors4life, Lexi
Dear Eden,
I have a question! You’re going to the show next week, correct? Would you mind buying flowers for McKarthy, Alex and Chanel? I’ll pay you back, I just want them to know I’m thinking of them and know they’ll do great. Let them know they have my support even when I’m not there.
Sincerely me!,
Lexi
Dear Lexi,
For this tribute..I couldn’t bear to wait until the end because I need our lovely host Lexi to process every word I’m saying as it is addressed to her. Now the first thing Lexi said to me when I met her as a new sixth grader was “I adopt you.” Not a “Hi Hello My Name is” .. none of that. It was “I adopt you.” And she’s lived up to that binding statement, I’ve been her child ever since. She introduced me to this concept of being a theater kid in the first place when her middle school Hamilton phase (which hasn’t ended) rubbed off on me. Her ability to make time for the things she loves has been one of the many lessons I’ve learned from Lexi. She makes sure her heart is in everything she does and has taught me that you will only be happy with what you’re doing when you tell yourself it’s worth it. She puts a piece of herself into everything she does and we have seen her create lovable characters that bring an indescribable energy to the stage. She has been a light in mainstage as our company manager whether she’s even performing or not. I cannot begin to express the love I have for Lexi and how much I have to thank her for the person I am today. I don’t know where I would be without her. I can’t even say I’d be here without her.
I used to tear up whenever I thought about Lexi really leaving us, graduating, and having to miss out on the next chapter of the best mother I could ask for in life. But I’m not afraid that I won’t be able to get through it because I’ve had her teach me lessons I will never forget, how to embody these pillars beyond Mainstage theater, before we even knew this place existed. She has taught me how to love, how to care, how to grieve, how to create, how to have self compassion, how to be a friend, how to be a sister, how to be a person. Lexi is my sister, and my mother, and my friend, and holds a space in my heart for as long as I’m alive, and I know that no matter what we have a bond that doesn’t break. But when we are apart, I know that I’ll be okay because she’s taught me how to be. She is the best human being on this planet and I love you so so much Lexi. Thank you for being one of the best and most important people in my life.
Sincerely, Chanel
Dear Lexi,
Someone responded back. Chanel responded back.
Sincerely me,
Lexi
Dear Chanel,
So, it’s your birthday. And you made this huge heartfelt speech for me at drama prom so I have to repay.
See, the thing is, you say it’s me who drew you into my middle school shenanigans, but honestly I think that’s on you: you didn’t run away. I said I adopted the entire 6th grade, yet only a select few stuck with me really. And an even rare-er group of you stuck around to sing Hamilton with me.
I can’t lie, I didn’t expect you to continue to look up to me after I graduated middle school. I’ve never been great with talking to people much outside without reason (ie passing each other in the halls), texting was always much easier. But I’m glad we kept in touch, it kinda made me feel as if I didn’t fail!
You’re one of the few people- perhaps the #1 person who constantly calls me mother or some variation of that everytime we talk. In theory, you could have ditched that. We could just be normal people but you decided not to. And it warms my heart that you still want to look up to me even when I feel I have to actually rely on you for inspiration.
During the first weekend of the year, you sat with me while I cried in a staircase and only made me cry more because I wondered what I did to be blessed with such a wonderful daughter. One who appreciated me even at one of my all time lows and told me how great I was doing despite feeling so terribly awful. I honestly didn’t know how much my life impacted others. And I still don’t. I was actively shocked to hear people wanted me to host drama prom. Freshman me, middle school me even didn’t think she mattered that much. That the things she considered “small” and even “annoying” was appreciated greatly. But it’s the smaller individuals that matter more. So when you told me I was one of the reasons you’re here…, I think it hit me then that this was real. This care, this love was something that was sticking around for real.
I’ve watched you grow, I hope I’ve helped push you. I hope you grow further. And most importantly I hope you find joy and satisfaction instead of perfection. Because that is the one thing you deserve, happiness.
I love your tenacity, I love your hugs, thank you for letting me be your mother. I love you so much Chanel.
Your mother forever,
Lexi
Dear Lexi,
Alessandra responded back,
Sincerely me,
Lexi
Dear Lexi,
Araba responded back,
Sincerely me,
Lexi
Dear Lexi,
Alex responded back,
Sincerely me,
Lexi
Dear Lexi,
You did well. The kids are great.
Sincerely, Me
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